The Smell of Musk

The shrieks of a wailing child in her arms drowned the clatter of the bottles in the bathroom cabinet and the constant drip of the tap as Avani frantically searched for the antiseptic liquid. Rohan had hurt himself again-the kid was quite a handful. That's when she saw it again; that bottle of musk cologne that Adrish had once used. Finally spotting the antiseptic, she grabbed it and started dressing Rohan's wound.

An hour later, Rohan's wound had been taken care of, and Avani sat on the rocking chair with him in her lap while the radio churned out old songs. Now that everything was calm, she let her thoughts wander to the cologne, its dark green bottle with a silver cap. How she loved that smell. It was the reason she’d had met Adrish. Her eyes had just followed the scent that had wafted through the room and had been caught staring. Not that she minded, considering that it had led to the most incredible time of her life.

Adrish had been perfect. He was smart and charming as would've been expected of a young lieutenant in the Indian Army. Better still he was an honest and good person. It often amazed Avani that none of the romantic novels that she'd read concentrated on the niceness of a person. It was such a big turn-on.

She smiled as she remembered the incident that had left a small chip on the bottle and a bruise on his cheek. Just like Al Pacino in “The Godfather,” she had thought. She loved the way the house smelt of musk when Adrish was on vacation. It made her feel happy, and safe. The smell of musk was also the last memory she had of him, the smell that had lingered for hours after he had left.

Being an army wife had never been easy. Avani had never gotten used to the slight fear that gripped her every time the phone rang, the unease with which she watched the news every night. She had felt very uneasy when she heard about the border skirmishes. "Don't worry," everyone around had said, "we're not at war.” They had assured her that Adrish would be back safe and sound. But he hadn’t come back. Then they had told her that things would be alright . Time is a great healer, they said, and soon things would become normal.

Rohan had dozed off, and Avani placed him on the bed, careful not to wake him up. She walked up to the bathroom sink and splashed some cold water on her face. She was exhausted; exhausted by the heat, by the ordeal of Rohan's injury , but most of all by the hope that things would eventually become normal. A silent tear trickled down her cheek as she came to terms with the fact that things would never be the same again. Adrish had left behind a void that no one could fill.

Tomorrow she would think about the new normal. Tomorrow, she would think of how to get there. But not tonight, she thought. She opened the bottle of cologne, splashed some on, and let the smell of musk pervade her senses once again.

Coming Back To Life

It's been long since I blogged. Almost two years! And I've missed it.. But it's been an eventful two years. I've exorcised the demons of the past and enjoyed life. And I have every reason to smile, and blog.

Don't get me wrong when I say that I am incorporating balance in my life. I still think that discipline makes things boring. Just that a pinch of balance can bring out the beauty of the random thoughts I've always had.

The retired part-zombie is just loving life now.